“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” —Henry Ford
Many of you may have read my first blog post on FEAR: The Four Letter “F” Word. If not, you can read it here. Or my other blog post Overcoming Fear. Read it here. Fear is nothing new to me, but I’m still struggling and working through it.
See, my awareness is more in tune now. Before, I may have chalked some things up to being lazy, or too busy, or not having enough time. I could come up with a billion excuses. I have realized, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. It’s what we choose to do with them that matters. If we don’t complete a project or do something we said we would, it could mean that it’s not that important to us… OR it could be a fear underneath that we haven’t confronted.
No the fear I have been dealing with lately, I have had trouble pinpointing it down to what exactly is behind it. My first blog post, I talked about overcoming my fear of putting myself out there and just going with it. I started my blog even though I felt like I wasn’t completely 100% ready and that not everything was perfect. I thought if I could just reach out and help one person. Well I did. That happened. Great, right? Just what I wanted. So why was it so hard to continue?
I have been doing research and have a ton of posts started and it wouldn’t take me long to get them ready and schedule them to post. I could have been consistent all along like I wanted. But, I wasn’t. I haven’t posted anything new on my blog, or social media for that matter in almost 2 months! Where did that time go? I logged on the other day and read 9 new comments. New comments of positive messages and telling me that I helped them. That’s my passion and purpose is helping others! I felt so much joy and fulfillment that it brought tears to my eyes. Then, I froze up. I closed out of my browser and didn’t do a thing on my blog except approve the comments.
I realized that I was fearful. But I didn’t understand why. That’s what I wanted. Everything was going the way it should, except for my consistency. So why was it so hard for me to go back to it? I literally procrastinated finding other stuff to do the other day. I still don’t know what the fear is. I’m thinking it’s fear of success still like I talked about previously. Or fear of not helping others, or not being consistent (which I’ve already done by the way…) So I’m going to keep digging deeper and finding out what’s underneath it all and confront it. Let it go and move on to what I want to do.
I wanted to share with you all so you can see that it’s a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. If we want to change something, we have to keep at it. Practice makes perfect. And in the end, it is worth it. I know I will still have fears come up and that is normal. I will be better equipped with the right tools to be aware, figure out what’s underneath, and move on quicker each time.
I am also working on a 21 day Journaling Journey to create a habit of writing every day and discovering new things about ourselves and mapping out our lives. This will also help discover what’s underneath our fears. If you would like to join me, click here.
I would love to see you there!
Until next time!